Cheating is one of the most prominent causes of relationship break-ups. Infidelity creates a lot of pain and issues in relationships, and for some people, it’s a complete deal-breaker.
The thing is, you think about how much you’ve built with this person, all the plans, goals, and dreams you both had. And now it just feels so hard to move forward because you feel betrayed.
But one thing remains. If you love your partner and still want to be with them, it’s possible. It’s not easy, but it’s doable.
In today’s article, we share five ways to repair your relationship after cheating.
How to repair relationship after cheating
- The cheating partner has to be remorseful
The one who cheated should be sorry and mean it. They need to understand how their actions have affected their partner. They must demonstrate true empathy for the pain they have caused.
Guilt and remorse are different because guilt is more focused on the person’s feelings and actions and not the victim’s feelings and how they have been affected by the other person’s actions.
Before deciding to move forward, you need to know whether your partner is sorry and willing to put in the work to fix their mistakes or not.
2. Reflect on how you are feeling
You both need to access your feelings because these feelings are going to be the basis of the decisions you make moving forward.
Ask yourself questions that are going to help you figure out your true unfiltered thoughts and feelings.
What made you cheat? Are you truly remorseful for your actions and how they affected your partner? Are you willing to do the work it takes to heal the relationship? Are you willing to forgive your partner? Do you want to stay in the relationship? Are you willing to forgive your partner?
Writing down your feelings and sharing them could help you both let go of difficult emotions and find grounds to make peace and work towards the future.
3. Make A Decision.
Both of you need to decide whether to move on with the relationship or not. This decision should be made while keeping in mind that if you decide to continue with the relationship, it’s going to take a lot of work and commitment and some things may never be the same again.
Cheating can change the dynamics of a relationship and you both need to be aware of that as you plan your next course of action.
4. Be honest.
Once you decide to move on with the relationship the cheating partner should be honest about why they cheated. This is a vital step in making sure the relationship survives because the reasons given will show what needs fixing in the relationship.
If the other partner decides they want details of the incident or affair you have to tell them. Be transparent. These details such as when it happened, and who it happened with also help your partner know what boundaries they want to set in the relationship going forward.
5. Set Boundaries
As I said, some things may not return to the way they were. If you feel it might help your relationship to move forward, set boundaries.
It’s not enough for your partner to promise to stop cheating. Put boundaries in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Some boundaries could include; cutting off all contact with the person they cheated with and avoiding certain places or people that may influence them to make bad decisions.
Doing this will also let your partner know their limits as well as the consequences if they are not respected.
6. Give your partner time and space.
If you are the one who cheated, give your partner time and space to come to terms with what happened.
Give them space to grieve, be angry, sad, irritated, and all the other emotions they need to feel. Cheating is not something someone can get over in a matter of weeks, some people even take years. Do not rush them.
7. Consider talking to a therapist.
Many couples fail to move forward after infidelity despite the will and desire to do so. It’s not enough to want to fix the relationship.
Sometimes you just don’t have the tools to do so. That is why you must speak to a licensed therapist.
They will not only give you the tools you need to mend the relationship but also mediate the conversations from a neutral point of view while still acknowledging the hurt that has been caused. They can also help prevent conversations from escalating.
A relationship can survive cheating if both partners are willing to get through the hurt, put in the work, stay committed, and cultivate habits that strengthen the relationship.