Many times, people have found themselves in ugly situations due to mistaking an infatuation for love. However much love and infatuation feel alike, they are totally different.
What is Love?
There are thousands of definitions of the word love and none of them is entirely correct or false, because after all, who are we to explain love. Love is such a powerful and beautiful thing that most humans cannot have failed to fully understand.
All the way from ancient times, hundreds of people have tried to explain love in their own languages, words, or according to their own understanding. Some have explained love according to religious doctrines, life principles or standards taught to them by their parents or by the people who raised them.
All definitions of love are correct, no matter the aspect or context. Be it from! religious, friendly, intimate, moral, or upbringing perspectives, all these define love. They all point out the same thing, which is love being a great power that enables us to feel certain ways.
It makes us treat people with kindness, it gives us compassion towards strangers and keeps us bonded to one another.
There are also people who believe that love can be a choice, a decision or a feeling.
One thing is certain for sure, love is not something that is tangible. You can’t see or touch love in itself. That’s why it is taken to be in the forms of a choice, decision, feeling or an act. The people of Ancient Greece also defined love as to take on several forms in which it is manifested. In simple terms, we can say that Love is a deep commitment or connection with someone or something.
What is an Infatuation?
Infatuation is something that is commonly mistaken for love. Most people get infatuated with others and take it for love, but these two are very different and not to be confused. An infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.
Infatuations can feel a lot like love but will not be the same as love. In most cases, if these feelings aren’t worked upon or if the person feeling like this does not tell the person he/ she is attracted to then these feelings will go away.
Infatuations can last minutes, two days, six months or even up to a year. The time it takes to fade away depends on the person’s desire to pursue these feelings.
The main differences between love and an infatuation is that where love is willing to be patient, kind, forgiving and understanding, an infatuation will not.
Differences between love and infatuation
1. You want to know the other person Vs Not caring much about who they are
If it is love, you will want to know the other person more. You will want to know who they are, know about their family, what job they do, their favorite food or music band, what they like or dislike. You’ll have the desire to know what makes them happy. You will want to know every little thing about them.
Whereas for an infatuation, you will only care about, “ Who is this guy/girl? He/she’s so fine. I want him/her.” You won’t be much interested in knowing the person but you will only be interested in spending time with them because of how they make you feel or how you feel around them. They make you excited. Seeing them makes you feel like, “Oh my, this is it. This is what I’ve been waiting for.” All your feelings will be based on petty things that are not real.
2. You’re honest and free with the other person Vs You’re not totally honest and you don’t care
If it is love, people are more inclined to saying what they feel deep inside their heart. You will find yourself expressing what is going on deep inside. You honestly and freely tell the other person how you feel about them, whether they want to hear it or not. You are open about what you really feel about anything that concerns the both of you.
On the other hand, if it’s an infatuation, you might not let loose and be as free and as honest with the other person as you would be if it was love. In an infatuation, you’re not really interested in letting the other person know what’s going on in your life or in your heart so you’re just there because of the current feelings but there’s nothing really serious that you want with the other person.
3. Desire to spend quality time Vs Urge for sexual pleasure every single time
When you’re in love, there is a strong desire to spend time with the other person. You want to know about how their day was, you want to hold hands and talk about them. You want to spend quality time with them, know what’s going on in their lives or what they are up to.
While for an infatuation, every time you see this person probably the first thing that comes into your head is, “Can we get a cozy place and make out?” What I’m trying to say is, if it is an infatuation your feelings will be more inclined to sexual attraction and intimacy than trying to get to know the person.
4. You see the other person’s flaws and still want them Vs Noticing flaws and wanting to end the relationship
For love, even when you notice bad things or mistakes that the other person has, you will acknowledge them but still want to be with them. You appreciate that they are human and make mistakes, so even with their flaws you still want to pursue the relationship.
While if it is an infatuation, the moment you realize bad things or any mistakes about the other person, the reality check clicks on and the first thing you want to do is run from the relationship.
Let’s say you’re dating someone and you didn’t know that they smoked or had weird habits. The moment you find out about these things you want to end the relationship right away without knowing why they do these things or giving them a chance to explain. You’re just not ready to understand. All you want is a perfect girl/guy and that’s it.
5. You know when to stop Vs Being too obsessed to care about consequences
If you are in love and may be your partner asks you to do something that is not in line with your standards or principles, you won’t agree. For example if your partner tells you to go and rob a store or to help him hide or sell drugs or something you don’t agree with then you can easily refuse, like, “Babe, I cannot do this because you know I don’t do that, I’m not like that.” You can tell your partner what you want and don’t want because there’s that mutual understanding between the two of you.
Whereas for an infatuation, if your partner tells you to do something, whether it is right or wrong, you will go ahead and do it. Even if you’re being asked to commit a crime you will do it because you are obsessed with this person and the only thing you can think about is impressing them. You start telling yourself stuff like, “If I don’t do it he/she’ll think I’m not into it. I want him/her to like me more.” You won’t think with your head, all you’ll care about is proving a point, which isn’t worth it.
So do a check on your new relationship and make sure you’re in love and not just infatuated with someone. The good news is, if it’s an infatuation, it will fade. It might hurt at first but it will go away, it always does.